His name is Bob, and he vibrates

His name is Bob, and this is an ode to my wife’s best friend.

Bob is a personal vibrator that lives in a drawer surrounded by nice underwear.

His real pedigree is as a Hitachi Magic Wand with Free Wand Essential Travel Massager, but that was all too much to mumble on short notice for my wife, so he was named Bob, and Bob he has remained. Much easier to simply yell, “Now is the…