Never Another Cat for Me

Cats remind me too much of my ex-wife

By SV Philon on iStock (image licensed by author)

I am not a cat guy. Cats
remind me of my ex-wife,
the way she use to sit curled up
on the couch… just staring,
never blinking, waiting for me
to say a word so she can hiss,
wave her fangs in the air,
maybe spit a hair ball at me.

But if she needs something,
now she loves me. Swishing by,
tail in the air, soft rumbling
from deep in the throat. Oh look,
she purrs, I need dinner, so she
slinks along, butt swaying
side to side, working it girl, you
are working it like a stripper
at a Republican convention.

I call and call her, come, play
with me, I bought you a new toy,
but she remains aloof, at the kitchen
counter behind the wine bottle…
but now she is rubbing her head
against my chin… oh, the kibble
this is going to cost me.