Own Your life
It is easy to wake up to a life out of control. You sit alone on a quiet afternoon staring out a window, realizing nothing left in your life belongs to you. You are living in a total reactionary mode, letting a hundred outside influences create the path you are on, a path you doubt is getting you anywhere.
You work too many hours in a job you now do just for a living, finding yourself way past the days where you thought this work was moving your career ahead, and wasting the talent you possess to build the career you do want.
We play too hard in our off hours, burning up our energy trying to be everywhere, every day, pleasing everyone and then find by doing it all we seldom ever get to do anything that is important in our own life.
We can never say “no” to anyone and end up overcommitting, but still pissing off everyone because we can’t keep up the endless commitments we make to keep everyone happy.
Your life is out of control because you gave away the power to control your own outcome. It is easy to get trapped on a path that takes you nowhere, that burns up your best years, because you get caught in everyone else’s madness. Here are a few ideas to take back control of your own life:
You will never find happiness through others
If you cannot find happiness within yourself, you will never be happy. If you are waiting for someone else to bestow the gift of “happy,” you will waste your life waiting.
If you are dependent on someone else for your happiness, you will always be held hostage by that person, who you have given the power to make you instantly miserable by withholding your daily dose.
Finding the personal strength to live within yourself has to happen before you can find happiness with anyone else. Strength is defining your own life through your own terms. There is no happiness unless you find that ability within yourself, and only then can you enjoy the happiness others bring into your life.
Good people stumble carrying the burdens of others
Some people have to have the universe drag their butts through the cosmic mud before they will learn how to live on their own through mastering their own inner strength. Realizing early there are people in your life who prey on the strength of others, who want to live off of the kindness of an intrinsic driven person will save you immense pain later.
This person can’t live without you, until they don’t need you anymore, and then he is gone. You believe helping is always the right thing to do, but when you personally struggle, this person jumps off your back onto someone else’s.
Carrying someone does nothing but enable that person, and the universe needs to have its way with that guy before he will ever change. A hand up is one thing; enabling a person to stay worthless in life is something else entirely and lessens your life.
Nothing you can ever do, no matter how much you personally sacrifice of your own life, will ever change the other person for a single second of his life. You can’t carry the world until you can carry yourself, and then understand sometimes what you give will never be enough for the takers of the world.
Money isn’t everything…. but it is
Live as a minimalist or live as a hedonist; it doesn’t really matter, just as long as you have enough money to live independently of others. Money is freedom and nothing more. How you determine what your freedom costs is your decision.
Money has no purpose in life but to let you live your life on your terms, never held hostage by a job, a town, or a life situation where the best thing you could do is walk away and start again.
It is all your fault
Your life is how it is now, because of the decisions you made, or didn’t make; but good or bad, your life is all yours. You cannot blame anyone for your inability to take care of yourself in life.
Nothing bad ever changes until you take personal responsibility for the situation. You are who you are, because of the decisions you made, and if you screwed it up, so what? Get over it, get on with it, and get your butt moving. We all fail, and it doesn’t mean a damn thing, except you are human, and as just as messed up as the rest of us.
We also tend to blame or past for an inability to change our lives now. Most everyone has a back story; a past of emotional issues, abuse, mistakes we believed would someday kill us, and a litany of other negatives we wouldn’t wish on our worst enemy, but bad things happen to good people and you either use your past to create a better life today, or you remain forever trapped by who you were so long ago.
You live by a hundred acts of random kindness
Because you are you, and have it all, you have to give back every day. Your purpose, and maybe the universal purpose for all of us, is to change lives every day and make the world around you better than you found it.
You must to do a hundred small acts of genuine kindness a day to improve lives around you. You, who have it all, must share it all, or lose it all. Your personal problems may be tough, but the rest of the world sucks worse than you do, and even on your worst day, you are still capable of changing someone else’s life.
Is what I am doing moving me ahead, or wasting my years?
Where are you today in your life?
Where do you want to go?
How will I get there?
These are three of the simplest questions you could be ever be asked, but how many people have the answers to all three? Understanding our current reality, knowing want we want from the experience of our own lives, and having a strong plan to move our life ahead every day is one of the rarest of mindsets.
Many never get what they want in life because they never have any idea as to what they do want, so we live following the path of least resistance where we live another day until we might someday, “figure out our life,” and then get serious about making change.
Thinking about these questions gives you a control most people don’t have. Knowing what you want and having a plan separates you from so many who struggle day to day not knowing where they are going or what they are trying to accomplish.
Imitation is a life trap
It is easy to lose your identity imitating others. We want their success and figure if we do exactly what they did, and how they live, then we can become that person too, but it never works that way.
When we live by imitation, we deny our own power. We also lose our uniqueness and the life of experience of learning to become us. How they did it, and why, is more important than how they live and what they do.
Losing control of your life is losing your personal power. When you give up this power you let others define who you are, who you will be, and how you live today.
Taking back control of your life is nothing more than understanding you are unique, and you need no one to define your life.
You are enough on your own; you need no one to set the limits of who you can be in life.
You will never find the best within yourself without first believing it is all you, and always has been.