Took Me Years to Become Worthless

It is an art that has taken me decades to master

By Smart Stock on iStock (image licensed by author)

The rare day with nothing
to do, so I did, with the fervor
of Baptist kids saving souls
at the bowling alley on
Saturday night… nothing.

It has taken me decades
to be a master of nothingness,
that rare ability to ignore
what drives other mere
amateurs to snarl at kids,
throw shoes at the evening
news, or snip at the wife asking
you to take out the garbage.

Being worthless took me
years of dogged preparation.
Picking the perfect baggy
sweatpants, breaking in
my old blue chair to fit my
ever spreading backside,
the stacking of poetry books
yet unread, thin ones on top,
the thick collections at
the bottom of the stack,
and the subtle selection
of wine for day drinking,
sitting in late afternoon sun…
why it took me six years
to select my favorite glass.